Storm by Kittyling The afternoon sky is steel gray with the threat of rain, and Kamui prays that this is only a dream. It's a stupid thing to wish for, he knows, because the sharp pang of guilt is too real for him to be sleeping. The warmth of Subaru's hand in his own is real, too, and that reality he refuses to let go of. He's been sitting in this chair since morning, only moving to allow the nurses in and out; the hospital room is silent, and without anything to focus on, Kamui's mind wanders to recent events. Subaru's body is limp in his arms, colder than it should be. He holds him close, protectively, heart pounding wildly in his chest and all he knows is that he doesn't want Subaru to die, he can't die--not now, not while he's watching, and Kamui realizes that he /needs/ him to live. The ache in his chest is too strong and he barely notices the tears that begin to roll down his cheeks because of it. Crimson--so much--and the blood is thick and still flowing, eyelashes clumped and sticky from it and Subaru's eye is... Kamui takes a deep, steadying breath, and he looks down at his hands, clutching Subaru's a little more tightly. He's trembling slightly, and the last thing he wants right now is for Subaru to wake up and see him crying. He wants to apologize again--even though a thousand apologies wouldn't begin to make up for what happened--and he wishes once more that this could just be a dream. The hand in his own stirs, and Kamui snaps his head up, his heart rate quickening. Subaru's eye is open, dark emerald looking wearily up at the ceiling. The sight of the bandage around the other makes Kamui feel sick again; not because it's unpleasant, exactly, but because it shouldn't be there. If he'd moved more quickly--if he'd stopped Fuuma before he could hurt Subaru, none of this would have happened. Subaru turns his head slightly to the right, and mild surprise is evident on his features when his gaze meets Kamui's. The dark-haired boy is suddenly flustered, particularly when Subaru looks down at their hands, Kamui still holding the onmyouji's as though it were a lifeline. "Kamui." Kamui looks up again, and the indescribable ache in his chest strengthens a hundred fold when he sees that Subaru's smiling at him. The older man looks--and there's no other word for it--beautiful, even now and Kamui feels a sudden, strong urge to tell him exactly that. He at least wants to do something to let Subaru know what he's feeling right now, but he has no idea how to put all of it into words. Subaru moves to sit up, but seems to think better of it after a moment and he settles back down into the bed. to be continued... return to splash page