notes: This is for sephyelysian, because my honey asked me for Dita/Zima and I give my honey what she wants. This may be a bit confusing for those of you who have only seen the Chobits anime, because I work off the manga and in the manga by all accounts Dita dearest is a boy. Luckily, we all know a little sprinkling of ghei just makes it better, anyway. ^^ Cute A Chobits fanfiction "No." Dita fought the urge to smirk, settling for rolling his eyes beneath the cover of his shades as the room -- humans and 'coms alike -- froze at his lover's simple statement, gaping and fidgeting like small children as Chi turned the creature she'd so unceremoniously shoved into Zima's face around, turning it this way and that as though inspecting it for defects. Dita had known this farce of a get together was going to be trouble. He'd told Zima as much when that Hibiya woman had come to them with the idea in the first place, nattering on about Chi's newest curiosity about human custom and my, wasn't it just perfect that her production date was coming up just as she'd started asking really uncomfortable questions at birthday parties? If they'd asked him (and they hadn't, Zima had usurped the conversation just as Dita was opening his mouth to tell the woman she could plan fun and games for her erstwhile daughter by herself, thank you) he would have suggested downloading etiquette subroutines into her programming to provide the girl with some measure of restraint and apologizing to the offended parties, but everyone else seemed to feel that the little persocom's newest faux pas was somehow cause for celebration. Dita found that the more time he spent among humans, the more he was convinced that they were all just looking for the next excuse to get drunk. So it was with no small amount of smug satisfaction that he found himself slumped in the doorway of Motosuwa Hideki's tiny apartment watching Zima balk as the little chobits shoved a wriggling, mewling bundle of fur and ribbons in the larger 'com's face and asked (in the halting monotone of one who was parroting those more naturally expressive than themselves and naturally had no idea what they were saying) if it wasn't 'the cutest thing he'd ever seen'. He'd almost laughed at Zima's bewildered answer, watching the other persocom subtly shift his weight from foot to foot in as close a gesture to fidgeting as Zima would ever allow himself, Dita amusing himself monitoring his lover's reactions and reveling in the irony as Chi did exactly what he'd been predicting for weeks and said the most inappropriate thing at the perfect moment to make Zima as uncomfortable as Dita had ever seen him. It was that Hideki character stomping forward that finally broke the silence in the room, snapping his frozen guests out of their daze as he breezed past them without so much as a nod, coming to the rescue in that predictably foolhardy way human males seemed to prefer when 'their woman' was in trouble. Dita would have told him not to bother, that Zima was hardly trying to be insulting and in the end fighting with government issue 'coms would only earn him a headache and a badly damaged ego while they ran mental circles around him, but as his lover had been so eager to drag them both into this situation Dita decided that the other persocom could damn well turn that glib charm of his on and talk his way out of it. It would do him good to 'sweat a little', as the humans said. "What do you mean, 'No'?" Motosuwa demanded, coming up behind Chi to take the offending animal--the little kitten mewling piteously as it was dropped unceremoniously into Zima's arms. "Look at that face!" The little man was nearly vibrating out of his shoes with indignation, or possibly just realizing how much larger Zima was when he stepped close enough for the persocom to appropriately loom over him, flushed and rumpled as he sidled closer to Chi where she stood blinking at the unfolding drama as though it wasn't perfectly obvious who had started the whole thing. And really, if she'd been paying attention she would have noticed Hideki's pulse jack hammering a good three times faster than normal, the sweaty palms he wiped oh-so-obviously against his pants legs as he licked his lips and braced himself for Zima's reaction. Really the whole thing was ridiculous. "Of course he doesn't like it," Dita said, taking pity on the human and cutting into the conversation before Hideki all but frightened himself into a heart attack. "Felines are disgusting creatures. They shed, they make messes, they eat all the time and they serve no purpose beyond tickling some vague human aesthetic sense. If you really want a decoration running around, buy one of your laptops a new hat." Dita's rolled his eyes again as the little purple thing Motosuwa kept (though given its particular aptitude for making unnecessary racket it was anyone's guess why) jumped up and squealed at his suggestion, turning to find himself the object of a strangely considering appraisal as Zima lowered his shades just far enough to catch his eye and wink. "I didn't say it was hideous," Zima said, handing the animal back to Motosuwa just as it began to truly voice its displeasure. "I said it wasn't the cutest thing I'd ever seen." "Oh really," Motosuwa huffed, passing the kitten along to Chi, "What is the cutest thing you've ever seen, then?" Dita scowled as Zima reached out to pull him snugly against his hip, the larger 'com grinning like a madman as Motosuwa sputtered and in one horrifying instant Dita realized where this all was headed, Zima's hand sliding down to rest comfortably at the small of his back. "Why, my cute little Dita, of course." return to splash page